


The Pumpkin Variation

by subcircus



Category: Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), The Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: consci_fan_mo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-15
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-20 11:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subcircus/pseuds/subcircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems<br/>In a place that perhaps you have seen in your dreams<br/>Four scientists, geeks, technically men<br/>Went out in the woods, who knows where or when</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pumpkin Variation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ninjababe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjababe/gifts).



> Written for 2010 consci_fan_mo and as a birthday present for Ninjababe.
> 
> Warning for rhyming couplets.
> 
> The first two lines are taken directly from Nightmare Before Christmas and anything else you recognise clearly isn't mine.

Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems  
In a place that perhaps you have seen in your dreams

Four scientists, geeks, technically men  
Went out in the woods, who knows where or when

And it’s there that this story begins as you see  
With their discovery of a special tree

It stood in a clearing in the wood  
And so, they approached, wondering if they should

For upon each strange tree was carved a door  
Of curious shapes that puzzled the four

Each picture represented in a way  
One special occasion, one holiday

On one was a Christmas tree, easter egg, turkey  
All of the holidays as far as they could see

“But where’s the dreidel?” opined Wolowitz  
“It’s here,” replied Raj “Don’t have one of your fits.”

Sheldon declared “We must have a look!”  
“It might be dangerous, this isn’t a book.”

Leonard was cautious, as well he might  
He didn’t want to die that very night

But Sheldon was set, he couldn’t be moved  
It was in the roommate agreement and that could be proved

 _If a doorway is found to an alternate ‘verse  
We must explore, to ignore it is worse_

“We must go through this without any pause,  
So it is written; the Narnia Clause.”

So they opened the door on a hole big and black  
Disappointed, they turned and they started back

But soon came a wind, a terrible vortex  
They couldn’t escape, though their muscles did flex

As they tried to hang on, to the trees they clung  
But the wind was too strong, inside they were flung

And down they were sucked, miles they did fall  
Yet when they landed they weren’t hurt at all

They landed with a thump, but barely a scratch  
Their fall interrupted by a big pumpkin patch

Leonard stood up, wiped juice from his face  
Then took a good look at this strange new place

The landscape was odd, the colours not right  
The ground and the trees were all black and white

“This place is creepy, call me a coward  
But I want to go home,” commented Howard

“Home now?” queried Sheldon “But we’ve only begun  
We must look around, come on, this is fun!”

“We’ll be boldly going where nowhere has gone  
Let’s go, tricorders out and phasers to stun!”

Howard replied “I don’t want to get hurt  
It’s bound to occur; I’ve got on a red shirt.”

“Dude, just relax,” Raj said “Sheldon is right  
At least something good might come of this night.”

Any further debate was put to an end  
As they heard footsteps approach from round a bend

Ducking behind a large pumpkin to hide  
Our four heroes waited crouched side by side

After a moment or maybe two  
A peculiar vision came into view

It looked like a man, skinny and tall  
But his head was a skull, had no skin at all

And beside him there floated the ghost of a dog  
Our heroes just stared at them, all agog

All reason and logic would say they should go  
Yet Sheldon stood up, though Leonard hissed “No!”

He walked forward to greet the strange man and his hound  
“Hello,” said the stranger, “I’ve not seen you around.”

“Indeed,” replied Sheldon “We’re new to this locale  
I came here by accident, along with my pals.”

“Then welcome my friend, I’m Jack Skellington.”  
“Why, hello there, Jack. My name is Sheldon.”

“And hello to you too, there’s no need to crouch down  
It’s nice to have visitors to Halloween Town.”

Discovered, the others all stood up too  
And went to meet Jack, though afraid what he’d do.

“Halloween Town?” Leonard found courage to say  
“That’s right,” replied Jack “Come, it’s this way!”

There was nothing to do but to follow,  
So they did, down the road past a hollow

Then they came to a town that was truly bizarre  
And were approached by a man in a very strange car

“Jack!” he cried “And who are your friends here?  
We really must talk about our plans for next year.”

“This is the mayor,” explained Pumpkin Jack  
“He takes care of things, he’s got my back.”

“These three tricksy fellows are Lock and here's Stock  
And this one’s Barrel, it’s his name, please don’t mock.”

Jack said as he pointed to three children small  
Our four heroes didn’t like them, not even at all

They reminded them all of kids back in school  
Who’d picked on the geeks, just to seem cool

Just then there appeared three ghoulish vampires  
And a werewolf on a bike with a screech of tyres

“My is that the time?” Leonard declared  
“We really should go,” he said sounding scared

The others agreed it was time to depart  
“How sad,” said the mayor and gave them his heart

“Thank you,” stammered Leonard, hands dripping with gore  
As they turned and left quickly, before they saw more

Once out of sight, so’s not to cause offence  
He dropped the organ over a fence

Then the four ran as fast as their legs would allow  
For they needed to get home right now

Suddenly they saw they were back in the wood  
Safe and sound and that was so good

Howard turned, screamed, then fell on his back  
For before him he saw Pumpkin Jack

The others cried out and collapsed like the dead  
When they witnessed Jack take off his head

“Bazinga!” Sheldon cried with delight  
For he’d given the others all a good fright

And that is the end of this cautionary tale  
Of the scientists, wimpy and pale

How they found Halloween Land and all got back  
Survived an encounter with dread Pumpkin Jack.


End file.
